Today, I watched the film “Gen Silent”, a documentary that traces the aging of transgender Krys Ann Hembrough. Krys Ann spent 50+ years as a sad and miserable man who was angry with himself and the world, before undergoing the transformation surgery. He received no joy or happiness, and accounts that he used to smoke cigars and look “as ugly as [he] possibly could”. He suffered a serious depression and even made attempts to take his own life.
Then he made a big decision, and became Krysallis Anne Hembrough. As a woman, Krys Anne ultimately found she could be happy with herself. But the trouble was just beginning. Unfortunately for Krys Anne, her family did not feel as she did and was not accepting of the transformation. She spent two years desperately trying to reconnect with them, but to no avail.
Then, as if life could not get any worse, everything came crashing down around her. Krys Anne was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and given just 18 short months to live. Not only this, but with no family or support system, Krys Anne was going to have to go it alone – the radiation, the chemo, the attempts to treat her illness – all alone.
Krys Anne’s situation is just one example of the problems that exist in the treatment of LGBT seniors by the health care system. LGBT seniors are more likely to age alone, many have never had children, and few have relationships with their families, which they could rely on for a certain degree of care. The only option is to find a personal caretaker to move in, but that comes at a steep price, one that is not feasible for many LGBT seniors.
Not only this but the insensitivity of the health care system can scare LGBT into checking themselves out of the hospital early, or even refusing treatment in the first place. There is also the risk that they might become institutionalized or treated improperly. Krys Anne even recalls receiving EST therapy as a treatment.
In one of the film’s most heartbreaking scenes, Krys Anne is holding a laundry basket and trying to climb up her stairs. In just a few seconds, with each cumbersome step, every pant for breath, the reality of her struggle is actualized.
Though struggle and heartbreak is extremely prominent in her life, Krys Anne reaches the “silver lining” with just months left to live. She finally reconnects with her son after 2 years of separation. And then he, along with some open-hearted members of the LGBT community devise a schedule in which each of them takes turns spending time living with and taking care of Krys Anne. It is an overwhelming moment of relief, acceptance and peace. Krys Anne no longer has to live in fear of who she is or in fear that she will be alone. [Though she does question, “are they coming because they accept me as Krys Anne, or am I just a person dying?”]
But not every member of the LGBT aging community is so lucky. The isolation, insensitivity and lifelong fear that LGBT seniors have to live with is a unique, heartbreaking formula - One that causes people to die far earlier than they should. It is hard to change people’s minds. As Krys Anne’s son says in the film, “it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks.”
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